WAL where rain comes from

The storm

Last night there was a massive as storm. My power went off. There was lightning. I got scared. In the morning I woke up and when I went to school I saw this massive as tree branch broke off. When i went to school it was messy full of branches broken. Me and Tasi were playing on the tree and we played pretend Fornite and then we went to Sommerville School and we weren’t supposed to. At morning tea time we got a little bit of play and then the bell rung twice so we came inside to play on our netbooks and then the bell rung which we didn’t hear and then Miss came in and gave us 5 seconds to get down onto the mat. Last night it was raining hard. You could hear the thunder and you could hear the sun crashing into the clouds which makes lightning. And my friends thought that the sky tower fell, which it didn’t, they were tricking me. Some people thought it was real. When it was raining last night I was playing on Fortnite on Larrys PS4. When I was playing it I kept getting killed. But when I played it again I went to this place where no one else went and I got a sniper and armour and a shotgun. When we get on Fortnite we have to press triangle to play. And then when it loads we jump out of a bus that flies and then we jump out of it and then we can have a parachute to land and there’s chests everywhere full of weapons and after I played Fornite I made me and Larry a milo and toast. When I had a turn after my milo and then lightning came. And then when the lightning came down I hopped off the game and watched TV for a little bit and went to bed at 11 clock.

checking the writing

Crossing the bridge

On Saturday the 16th of March 1852, there was a farmer and her brown and white cow. The farmer’s name was called peaches.

First the farmer peaches got her cow and tried to get the cow to move “ come on bessie.” She said as she was struggling to pull bessie. Peaches grabbed her coins and she went to william johnsen the toll keeper. She gave Milliam Jo hnson 1 coin for her and 1 for her cow.

“Evening Johnson” she said as she was waiting to cross the bridge.

William johnson took the money and said “thank you very much,enjoy your day.” William Johnson used his strength to turn the winch so that the farmer could go through the bridge and go to the market. The farmer and the cow got to the market and the farmer got the bucket and milked the cow to sell the milk to the villagers.

The farmer looked and looked to see if anyone was coming to get some milk. But then she saw one person in line to see if it tasted nice. So she gave the nice lady some milk and she said “ WOOPHE!!!, that's the best milk i've ever tasted.” So she bought some milk and took it to her kids and they shared the milk together. After she left she told everyone about the milk and there was a whole line of people waiting to get some milk. Then he got to the last person and there was no one else in the line. So she packed up all her stuff and took her cow home. Then they got home and they Jumped straight on to their beds and went to sleep.

Recount checklist ✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓
Surface features	Searched	Found	Fixed
Capital letters at the beginning of a sentence	✓	✓	✓
Capital ‘I’	✓	no
Capital letters for names of places and people	✓	✓	✓
Full stops at the end of a sentence	✓	✓	Nothing to fix
Speech marks when people are talking
Punctuation - ? ! ; : ‘
Words are written in past tense
Connectives - next, then, afterwards
Interesting and difficult adjectives
Deep features
Introduction has who, what, when, where, why, and how
Conclusion has a reflective statement or says how you felt
Ideas/events in the right order
3 paragraphs
Metaphors and similes
Different types of sentences - short, long, compound and complex